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The Manager
V.M.C.A Hotel, London
Roma, 10.5.1991
Dear Signore Direttore,
Noew I am tella you story wat I was a treated
at jour hotella. I
am a comma from Roma as tourist to London
and stay as a young
christian man at your hottela. When comma
in my room i sow there
is no shit in my bed - how can I sleep with no
shit in my bed?
So I calla down to receptios and tella. "I
wanta shit."
They tella me: "Go to toilett."
I say: "No, no I wanta shit in my bed."
They say: "You'd better not shit in your bed,
you sonna-wa-bitch."
What is sonna-wa-bitch? I go down for
breakfast into restorante.
I order becon and egges and two pissis of
toast. I getta only
one piss of toast. I tella waitress, and point at
toast: "I want
piss."
She tella me: "Go to toilet."
I say: "No, no I wanta piss on my plate."
She then say to me: "You'd bloody wella not
piuss on the plate,
you sonna-wa-bitch."
That is the second person who not even
know me calla me sonna-
wa-bitch, and why is your staff replying "Go
to toilet", is that
a modern tella? I do not understand, please
tella me.
Latter I go for dinner in your restorante.
Spoon and knife is
laid out, but no fock. I tella waitress: "I wanta
fock."
And she tella me: "Sure, everyone wanta
fock."
I tella her: "No, no you don't understand me,
I wanta fock on
the table."
She tella me: "So you sonna-wa-bitch wanta
fock on the table?
Get your ass out of here."
How comma this christian hotell tella the
guest in such bed
manner?
So I go to receptione and ask for bill. I no
wanta stay in this
hotel no more. When I have paid the a billa
the portier say to
me:
"Thank you, and piss on Yoe."
I say: "Piss on you too, you sonna-wa-bitch. I
now go back to
Italy."
Dirtettore, I never gona stay in your hottela
no more, you sona- wa-bitch. Mario Pisselin
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mislim da je nemam.. koje ima nek postuje! 
